What I learned from wanting lifestyle changes but failing to commit

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Image from Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/en/turtle-tortoise-swim-sea-turtle-863336/

A long time back I read a piece by Derek Sivers called “No Yes. Either HELL YEAH or No“. I never really applied it. The main idea is to say ‘no’ to more requests, and to sign up for exciting things. Things that excite you.

I haven’t applied the ‘HELL YEAH’ or ‘no’ strategy. I’m not quite ready for that. I have to deal with some ‘maybe’s first. I have applied a say ‘maybe’ less strategy. This has changed my lifestyle in positive ways.

It begins like this. While I get ready for bed, wife asks: ‘are you going running or going to the gym tomorrow?’. The best answer is ‘yes’. The second best answer is ‘no because [completely valid reason i.e. an early morning appointment]’.

The weak answers are ‘maybe’ or ‘we’ll see, ask me again in the morning’. These answers reek of procrastination.

Why is ‘maybe’ a weak response?

‘Maybe’ is uncertainty. You can’t effectively plan ahead because you’re not certain about what to plan for. Uncertainty is the enemy of confidence.

‘Maybe’ is commitment avoidance. The decision is deferred. You shrink a little bit inside and lose some confidence.

‘Maybe’ is confrontation avoidance. You don’t want to offend him by saying ‘no’. So you inflict him with uncertainty.

‘Maybe’ shows a lack of direction. Unclear goals and priorities. If you know your priorities you can more easily decide ‘yes’ or ‘no’. You become more decisive. And more confident.

It Works

It works. After I replaced ‘Maybe’ with ‘Yes’ I showed up at the gym more.


We haven’t gotten to the power of ‘no’ yet. Save that for next time..

What I learned from Menfluential 2018 conference

This post summarizes my attendee take aways from Menfluential Conference 2018. Antonio Centeno and Aaron Marino host the two day Menfluential event which showcases social media influencers, businessmen, fitness gurus, men’s fashionistas and men’s grooming experts.

I’ve broken down my key takeaways into categories: mindset, productivity, social media, fitness, business. Jump down to the section desired. Other topics were covered at menfluential such as fragrance, hair, but I wasn’t interested and didn’t pay attention.

If you are interested in Menfluential conference there is a similar, virtual event organized by Bill Masur called Men of Character conference. MOC includes additional topics like fatherhood and relationships.

Mindset

Starting anything new sucks. It’s painful and the results are embarrassing. You have to hang on until it starts to be fun. “In 500 years you won’t exist, in 1,000 years you won’t matter, so don’t be afraid to try something new” said Ryan Masters. Don’t wait, get started!

You have to invest in yourself and continuously learn. A $30 book or a $1000 course could give you an edge worth 10X the price tag. Once you decide learning isn’t worth it, it’s game over, you’ve lost.

Productivity

“Clear to neutral” when taking a long break from working. Tidy up your desk, close windows on your computer, close tabs on your browser. Resume work from a clean slate. Less clutter leads to clearer focus.

Social Media: YouTube, Blogging

Until you reach 10,000 subscribers, you have to bring traffic from another platform. The algorithm won’t recommend your content in the beginning, not until you have a strong audience.

Choose simple headlines like “how to do X without Y”. Don’t try to be too clever, keep it simple.

Choose photo/thumbnails that spark curiosity. Make the viewer ask a question desperately needing to be answered. Consider simple questions like: “what is going on there? Why is he making that face?”

Consistency and volume are crucial for growing an audience. Publish new content on a strict cadence (daily, weekly, monthly). Cranking up the frequency from weekly to daily resulted in exponential growth for one YouTuber.

YouTube is a platform, not a business. Most businesses don’t make money directly from content, they make money by converting viewers into customers who pay for products and services.

If you don’t have haters yet, you’re still getting started. “You could teach blind kittens to read on YouTube, and someone will have a problem with it.” says Aaron Marino.

Monetize now, not after you get subscribers. 1M subscribers multiplied by 0 profit is still 0 $$. What if the money never comes? You will have wasted a lot of time and resources for nothing.

Fitness

The added value of fitness is building toughness through voluntary hardship. You muscles and your mind grow.

Strength training is the foundation. If you’ve never been to the gym, start here, get on the “strength ladder”. After strength builds, everything else falls into place, including body fat percentage.

Focus on the big 3 (compound lifts) – bench press, squat, dead lift.Find a trainer to teach you safe technique so you don’t break your back.Strength is a better measure than the scale, because your weight may fluctuate or plateau. Measuring your fitness level by tracking the amount of weight you can lift is a satisfying way to see progress.

Business

The standout business speaker at Menfluential was Dan Lok, who wore a blazing metallic red suit. Dan Lok is known for books like FU Money and his expertise in high ticket sales. He also offers a training program called high ticket closer.

People buy their way out of problems. Look for a bleeding neck problem, one the must be solved, fast. Paint a clear picture of what will happen if your product/service is used or not used.

On solving problems… > Find a need> Fill a need> The worst that can happen is nothingFocus on the simple, avoid complexity. Complexity is an excuse for a failure. You can blame the complex stuff instead of holding yourself accountable. John D. Rockefeller, the 340 billion dollar man, got his start with boring business tasks of turkey farming and book keeping.————————

There are three types of people in your sales funnel:

  1. Freeples
  2. Sheeples
  3. Leads

Freeples have a hard drive full of free ebooks, spreadsheets, and other junk. They collect stuff and never bother to contact the business or buy products.Sheeples follow the crowd and don’t know what they want. They stay lurking in the background and never contact the business or buy products.Potential clients know what they want. They know you can help solve their problems. They contact you to ask for help. They will pay you to help solve their problems. This is the type of person that can support your business. Focus on converting these people into paying customers.


Waste less time emailing and instant messaging clients. Get potential clients on the phone. Close them on the phone. You can quickly weed out clients who aren’t serious enough to get on the phone. And, you can work out details much faster on the phone compared to back-and-forth emailing.


Thanks for reading!